April 1-7

Today's weight: 182.4 pounds.

Workouts:
Monday: Ran 2 miles
Tuesday: 5K on elliptical, abs/core
Wednesday: Walked 3.5 miles
Thursday: Spin for 1 hour, abs/core
Friday: Off
Saturday: Off
Sunday: Chased a dog around for three hours

I feel like Sunday should count as a workout. I've had the blues since the weather got nice and I haven't been able to run. I'm seeing the results of a three-day junk food bender and no real running for almost two weeks. I sat down today and planned some meals, and went grocery shopping after work. I'm taking this week off from running, walking the 5K I signed up for next weekend, and starting running after that. There's just nothing else that compares. There's not enough spin classes, and the pool hours don't work with my schedule. And nothing beats running outside in sun and fresh air. 

March 25-31

Today's weight: 177.0 pounds.

Workouts:
Monday: Weights (upper body) for 45 minutes
Tuesday: Off
Wednesday: Cross-trained (stairs, elliptical) for 45 minutes
Thursday: Off
Friday: Off
Saturday: Walked 3.5 miles
Sunday: Off

Last week was very, very busy. Besides work, I: read two books for class, wrote a paper, went to class, saw one of my favorite musicians play a show, went to a library book sale, made a very elaborate cake from scratch for my dad, spent the day in Chicago for my Dad's birthday, and spent the day with my family for Easter. I don't feel so bad that I didn't work out much. I needed the rest. It was good to spend time with loved ones. I am very, very lucky to have them. I am humbled by their love.

My leg was feeling so good today that I went for a (very short, very slow) run outside. It was my first run outside this year that wasn't in the rain and fog. It felt excellent. It also made me realize my leg was not healed. So, back to taking it easy for the week. This was a good start, though. And this week won't be nearly as busy as last week, which means more sleep, and more workouts.

March 18-24

Today's weight: 174.4 pounds.

Workouts:
Monday: Stairs for 40 minutes, abs
Tuesday: Ran 5K in 30:37
Wednesday: Off
Thursday: Sprints for 2 miles (up to 8 mph)
Friday: Off
Saturday: Elliptical for 1 hour (5 miles)
Sunday: Off

I hurt myself. Again. This happened at the exact same time last year -- I was even training for the same 10K I'm training for now. I know I've said running is a lesson in patience, but I'm still feeling particularly defeated. In my down moments, I tell myself I wasn't meant to run. That I'll never truly be a "runner." That I get hurt too much, that I'm just not strong enough. But I know that's not true. All the times I've dragged myself out of bed in the dark, made myself run that extra 5 minutes, forced myself out of the house in the cold -- that's what makes me a runner.

But it's still frustrating. I have a stress fracture in my leg, most likely for shin splints I stupidly ignored. I haven't hurt this much since I first started running, nearly two years ago. I read that you get shin splints/stress fractures when you're first starting running and/or when you up the intensity of your runs abruptly. I've been pushing speed a lot lately -- maybe not gradually enough.

So, I'm adjusting my training plan and trying to make the most of it. At least it will push me to do more weight-training. And until my leg feels better, I'm taking my workouts one week at a time, and trying not to worry too much about that 10K. 

Move/make: Weeks 3-5, Take 2

Today's weight: 172.2.

Workouts:
Week 3
Mostly took the week off to travel. No workouts worth writing down.

Week 4:
Monday: Off
Tuesday: Walked 3 miles
Wednesday: Ran 25 minutes
Thursday: Off
Friday: Off
Saturday: Ran 35 minutes
Sunday: Ran a charity 5K (33 minutes)

Week 5:
Monday: Off
Tuesday: Ran 22 minutes
Wednesday: Ran 30 minutes
Thursday: Off
Friday: Off
Saturday: Ran 40 minutes
Sunday: Ran 20 minutes

Thoughts on food:
Ate a lot of Indian food these last couple of weeks. Learned that it's hard to be a vegetarian in small-town Arkansas. Finally started cooking for myself in a real way that I am actually excited about. Made grilled brie sandwiches with wilted spinach/sauteed garlic for lunch today. Delicious.

This upcoming week is the first one where I've planned a meal for every day that I actually want to eat (and don't just feel like I should eat, like a salad).

Overall reflections:
A busy couple of weeks of work-travel-work meant I was pretty burned out on running/eating/work/life. Throw in some random heel pain, severe depression, and lack of sunlight, and I didn't do much for a week or so. But I bought new running shoes (again), got some sleep, and finally sorted out some things. My heel pain is gone, and I also beat my PR for a 5K. I'm feeling better.

Tonight I'm going to a spin class for the first time ever. I get free gym classes as part of my employee gym membership, so I'm trying to take advantage of them. Hoping these classes will keep me from tiring of running. I just haven't been feeling it lately. I'm always careful to pay attention to when I'm not as excited about running. I want to protect it and keep it as something I look forward to, something that sustains me. I don't want it to ever be a chore.

These last couple of weeks reminded me that life is always a work-in-progress. I've been feeling a little worse for the wear. I am trying to remember to be gentle to myself, to take it easy when I need to. I am trying to be more vocal about who/what I am grateful for. I am trying to remember how much my loved ones sustain me. I am trying to remember how much running sustains me. I am trying. I suppose that's what matters, on tougher days. On better days, it's the doing that counts.

Goals:

• Go to a couple of gym classes. This will help with cross-training and keeping me interested in working out during these shorter, drearier fall days.
• Set up a time to meet with a personal trainer and nutritionist (also free, courtesy of my gym membership).
• Cook the meals I said I'd cook (mostly fancy hot sandwiches and fish tacos). 
• Get at least one shorter, tempo run in.

Move/make: Week 9

Today's weight: 180.0 pounds.

Workouts:
Monday: Off
Tuesday: Biked 5 miles, weights for 45 minutes (abs, legs)
Wednesday: Off
Thursday: Biked 3 miles, weights for 30 minutes (abs, back, chest, arms)
Friday: Off
Saturday: Biked 10 miles
Sunday: Off 

Thoughts on food:
I honestly haven't thought a lot about food lately. I've been eating out less, and making healthier decisions when I do go out. I've been eating a lot of fresh fruit, which has been good. As usual, though, I've been terrible with cooking. 

Overall reflections:
It's been three weeks since I gave this much thought. Between finishing final assignments, turning in grades, graduating, cleaning out my office, and then immediately starting a new job, I haven't had much time to breathe. Eating well/working out fell by the wayside for a while, especially because my training schedule has meant that I've been busy until 7 p.m. every weekday. My mental health has not been the greatest, and I'm still dealing with some unresolved physical health problems. I'm not going to beat myself, though. I'm just going to move forward.

I'm leaving for Florida tomorrow (more training), but I don't want to keep making excuses for myself. This week was the first week I started really working out again, and it felt good. I've been stressed about this summer job, and working out has helped me feel better. So, I want to make sure I remember that and don't neglect taking care of myself. Lifting weights, in particular, has helped take my mind off the fact that I can't run. 

Goals:
This week is going to be strange. I'll be traveling through Sunday, but the hotel I'm staying in has a kitchenette and pool/gym (I believe).

So, even though I'm on the road, my goals are: work out at least four days this week, and avoid eating fast food. I'll have a rental car, so I plan on going grocery shopping when I arrive, and stocking up on healthy food for the hotel room. It will also help me save money, since eating out is expensive.

Working out/running/biking has been an antidepressant/therapy session for me many, many times. I know I'll have ups and downs, probably for the rest of my life, but I want to make sure I don't neglect things for too long. I owe it to myself.

Long-term:

• Continue lifting weights at least once a week (if not more).
• Have more workout days than off days each week.
• Continue training for long bike rides (I have a new bike coming that's actually suited for long rides, as the current one I have really isn't). 
• Call my doctor and make an appointment to look at my foot.
• Get into the 160s by sometime this summer.  

Move/make: Week 6

Today's weight: 176.4 pounds.

Workouts:
Monday: Bike 5 miles, walk 1.5 hours
Tuesday: Bike 3 miles, walk 1 hour
Wednesday: Bike 26 miles
Thursday: Off
Friday: Bike 12 miles
Saturday: Off
Sunday: Off

Thoughts on food:
I only went out to eat twice, which is one more time than my goal, but still better than before. My eating habits have been better overall, minus a junk-food binge yesterday that ended with food poisoning. Needless to say, I am cured of my junk-food cravings for now. I can't even think about food.

Overall reflections:
My foot is still numb. I got sick of staying off of it, and went for a couple of long walks at the beginning of the week. I plan on staying off of it until my doctor's appointment this coming Friday, though, since I really need it to get better before I don't have insurance. My summer job also requires me to be on my feet a lot. Hooray.

My long bike ride on Wednesday was incredible; I'm looking forward to more of those as soon as I'm feeling better. Reading Born to Run hasn't been helping my running restlessness, though. I see people running while out on my bike, and I get a pang. I've even been dreaming about running. I know it's already doing a number on my joints and foot, but I still miss the way it feels. I'm so desperate to fix my foot, I've been considering these abominations. These shoes bum me out whenever I see them on someone, but if they work, who knows?

Goals:
I ended up using my car quite a bit last week, because it rained off and on almost every day. I did get a long bike ride in, like I wanted to.

For this week, I just need to survive finals. My goals are to eat healthy, get a lot of rest, and go on at least a couple of shorter rides. But my focus now is writing papers, grading papers, and graduating (!).